(The scene: A high hill overlooking the modern skyline of Jerusalem. CHRISTUS REX, dressed not in simple robes but in a sharp, modern suit, stands at a sleek podium. His voice is amplified, echoing with both divine authority and a talk-show host’s charisma. Below, a mixed crowd of pilgrims, financiers, and international media hangs on his every word.)

CHRISTUS REX: My children. My weary, wired, and wealth-obsessed children. Peace be with you.

I look down upon my city, Jerusalem, and I see the same squabbles, the same love of mammon, the same clinging to dust that I saw two thousand years ago. It seems some lessons must be taught anew.

I have returned, and I have a new decree. A simple one. Hear me, you masters of the universe, you titans of industry, you heirs and heiresses to vast fortunes. The gates of Israel are closed to you.

Let me be specific. If your fortune—your liquid assets, your stocks, your yachts, your private islands—exceeds one billion of whatever currency you prefer, you are not welcome here. Consider it a divine wealth tax on your soul.

“Why?” you cry. “We built empires! We innovated! We created jobs!”

And some of you did. And for that, your reward is in your boardrooms, your gated communities, your private jets. But the Kingdom of Heaven—and its earthly foothold here in Israel—is not a gated community for the monetarily blessed. It is a place for the poor in spirit. And let me tell you, it is very, very hard to be poor in spirit when you’re trying to decide which gold-plated faucet to install on your superyacht.

So, I will separate the sheep from the goats, the good billionaires from the bad. And the test is simple: What will you give up to enter?

There will be no loopholes. No shell companies. No charitable foundations named after yourself that you control. You want to walk in the footsteps of the prophets? You want to pray at the Western Wall and swim in the Dead Sea? You must divest.

And I have established a simple, two-part mechanism for your redemption.

First, you will take every single dollar, shekel, and euro over that first billion, and you will give half to my often-embattled servant, Benjamin Netanyahu. Let him be clear of his debts. A leader weighed down by temporal concerns cannot lead my people. Consider it a settlement. A cleansing of his balance sheet so he may focus on higher things.

Second, the other half of your excess fortune will be placed into a new fund. The “Green Pastures Fund.”

For too long, the children of Isaac and the children of Ishmael have fought over this arid, beautiful, and painful strip of land. I am providing a solution. We will offer every Palestinian family a choice: a new life, a generous, life-changing stipend, and a one-way ticket to a land of their choosing—Canada, New Zealand, Scandinavia—lands of true green pastures and still waters.

And this is not an exile. This is a divine relocation. As my Father’s psalm promised:

“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul.”

I will restore their souls! I will lay them down in green pastures, far from the checkpoints and the rubble, the fear and the hatred. They will have land, opportunity, and peace. And you, the billionaire who funded it, will have facilitated that peace. That is a legacy worth more than a third superyacht.

So, this is my offer. You can cling to your billions and be barred from the spiritual center of the world. Or you can liquidate your excess, solve a political crisis, settle a leader’s debts, and give a people a future of peace and prosperity.

The choice is yours. The money changers in the temple were merely a symbol. You are the real article. It is time to decide: do you serve God, or do you serve the portfolio?

The gates are waiting. But your money is not welcome here. Give it away, and then you may enter as a child again.

Go in peace. And make your choice.