Madonna Thinks Messiah Has Arrived

Madonna Messiah

Madonna’s rabbi, Yehuda Berg, teaches that immortality and the Light of Mashiach (Messiah) is inevitable. Berg was in Turkey talking to a conspiracy theorist saying Moshiach is here. Who is Madonna singing to with so many false Messiahs? Russell Brand? Kanye West? Bono? Obama? Who the frack knows.

Here are the lyrics:

I am the promise, that you cannot keep, reep (sic) what you sow, find what you seek

I am the sorceress, down in the deep, I am the earth, under your feet

I am the moon with no light of my own

You are the sun guarding your throne

I heard the angels whisper to me, look for the signs, he is the one

I’ll light a candle here in the dark, making my way, to your heart

My money is on Brad Pitt being the new Messiah. He was crucified on that plane seat in World War Z and slipped into a coma, but rose again three days later. Pitt’s child is named Shiloh. Shiloh means Messiah. Madonna revealed that she had a naughty dream about Brad Pitt. Isn’t that great news? We’re saved! Brad Pitt and the UN will stop the apocalypse. I can’t wait to take Brad Pitt’s vaccine.

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  1. Pingback: Mary Kate Olsen killed Heath Ledger? | Giddy Gander Gossip

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