Scene: A trendy rooftop bar in Los Angeles.

Selena Gomez sits at a table with her drink. Suddenly Borat appears, tugging along a nervous but stylish Italian man in his 30s, Mark, wearing a flashy leather jacket.

Borat (booming voice): “Hello, Selena Gomez! Jagshemash! I bring you important message. Your fiancé — he is cheat! Very shame. He do romance with other woman, like dirty goat in field. Disgrace!”

Selena (startled, then frowning): “Wait, what? Who are you?”

Borat (gesturing proudly to Mark): “I am Borat Sagdiyev, number four journalist of Kazakhstan. And this… this is my very sexy friend from Italy, Mark! He is not cheat. He makes best spaghetti in all of Napoli, and his mother still iron his underpants.”

Mark (thick Italian accent, trying to smile): “Eh, ciao Selena… Borat, maybe you slow down, sì?”

Borat (ignoring him, turning back to Selena): “Mark is strong like ox, smooth like olive oil. He will never betray you. Only betray maybe… pizza delivery time. Ha! Very nice!”

Selena (laughing despite herself): “So… you’re trying to tell me I should dump my fiancé… and date your friend Mark?”

Borat (nodding furiously): “YES! Much better for you. Instead of heartbreak, you get man who play accordion and drive tiny car that go beep beep. America will love Italian romance! Do it, Selena. You will be very happy. High five!”

Mark (sighing, under his breath): “Mamma mia…”