Joey Juco tells his friend Marco Dahl Antonio not to join “The Prince” Leo Zagami’s masonic lodge p2. If he breaks his master’s nose with a statue of baby Jesus, what will he do to an apprentice? Do you think climbing naked into a locked coffin with a guy like that outside is a good idea?
Now I see his face, I see his smile Such a lonely place, no golden mile Eyes tell of morbid tales, of his black heart His deeds through ages past, tell of his part
See his face, see his smile Time to die
Yo-ooh, wo-ooh, noo
Angel from below, change my dreams I want for glory’s hour, for wealth’s esteem I wish to sell my soul, to be reborn
I wish for earthly riches, don’t want no crown of thorns See his face, see his smile
Time to die Wo-ooh, oo-ooh, noo
I was born a fool, don’t want to stay that way Devil take my soul, with diamonds you repay
I don’t care for heaven, so don’t you look for me to cry And I will burn in hell, from the day I die See his face, see his smile Time to die Wo-ooh, no-ooh, no
Setting: A sparse, secure room. The air is cold. One wall is a one-way mirror. A single Nativity figurine—the baby Jesus—sits on a steel table under a harsh light.
Characters:
LEO ZAGAMI, in a rumpled suit, gestures wildly.
G.I. JOE, stands perfectly at ease, his expression unreadable.
[SCENE START]
LEO ZAGAMI: (Leaning forward, a feverish gleam in his eye) You want the truth? The operational truth? I’ll give it to you. It was me. All me.
(He points a trembling finger at the ceramic figurine on the table.)
ZAGAMI: The Bethlehem job. The “Weeping Infant of Palermo.” The priests thought it was a miracle. The old women crossed themselves. The Cosa Nostra… they were confused. A sign of respect? A warning from God? They didn’t know who to pay, who to fear.
G.I. JOE: (A flat, calm tone) Go on.
ZAGAMI: (Pacing now) They were looking for heavenly voices, for messages in the clouds! Amateurs! The message was in the ceramic. A focused, low-frequency, longitudinal scalar wave. Modified HAARP sequencing, routed through the local telecom tower. A pure voice-to-skull broadcast, but the statue… the statue acted as a resonant transducer. It wept with the vibrations. Anyone within fifteen feet heard the whispered Latin psalm in their teeth. “De profundis clamavi.”
G.I. JOE: (A slow, almost imperceptible nod) Out of the depths, I have cried.
ZAGAMI: Exactly! To unsettle them. To make the old gods and the new syndicates look at each other with suspicion. To prove that the stage itself could be hijacked. I bit the hand that feeds the whole puppet show.
(G.I. Joe takes one step closer. He looks from Zagami to the innocent figurine and back. A faint, grim smile touches his lips.)
G.I. JOE: Impressive, Zagami. Most impressive.
(Zagami straightens up, a flash of pride on his face. It lasts only a second.)
G.I. JOE: You understand the operational parameters. The psychological payload. The theatrical flourish.
ZAGAMI: Of course I understand! I wrote the playbook they pretend to read!
G.I. JOE: (The smile vanishes. His voice becomes colder, final.) You bit the hand that feeds. A useful trait, until the hand decides it needs no teeth.
(Zagami’s confidence falters. He glances at the one-way mirror, then back at Joe.)
ZAGAMI: What… what does that mean?
G.I. JOE: (He turns to leave, pausing at the door. He doesn’t look back.) It means the experiment is concluded. The data is recorded. The asset is… compartmentalized.
(Joe glances at the Nativity statue one last time.)
G.I. JOE: Merry Christmas, Leo.
(The heavy door clicks shut. Leo Zagami is left alone, staring at the silent, unweeping face of the ceramic child.)*
The Pinky and the Brain episode “The Pinky Protocol” (Season 3, Episode 10, aired 1997) is a standout installment famous for its sharp political satire and a memorable guest star: famed conspiracy-theorist filmmaker Oliver Stone.
Here’s a breakdown of the episode and why it’s so notable:
Plot Summary
The Brain’s latest plan to take over the world involves manipulating the public’s belief in conspiracy theories. He invents “The Pinky Protocol,” a device that implants a ridiculous, harmless conspiracy (“The world is run by giant, man-eating guinea pigs”) into Pinky’s mind. Brain then hires Oliver Stone to make a movie about Pinky’s “delusion,” expecting the film to be so widely ridiculed that it will discredit the very concept of conspiracy theories. His ultimate goal: to make the world stop looking for secret plots, thereby allowing him to execute his real takeover undetected.
However, the plan backfires spectacularly. Stone’s film, The Pinky Protocol, is a massive hit—but not as a comedy. The public sees it as a chilling documentary and believes the guinea pig conspiracy entirely. Brain becomes a fugitive from the very paranoid society he created, hunted by a mob convinced he’s a giant guinea pig in disguise.
Why the Episode is Iconic
Perfectly Cast Guest Star: Oliver Stone was the ideal choice. In the 1990s, Stone was synonymous with controversial, conspiracy-tinged films like JFK, Nixon, and Natural Born Killers. The episode brilliantly plays with his public persona. The animated Stone is portrayed as intensely passionate, seeing “truth” in Pinky’s babbling, and utterly unconcerned with the consequences of his art. His line, “I don’t make movies, Pinky. I forge realities!” is a perfect parody of his perceived self-seriousness.
Satirical Layers: The episode works on multiple levels:
Satire of Oliver Stone: It pokes fun at his methods and reputation for finding grand conspiracies everywhere.
Satire of Media and the Public: It critiques how media (especially sensational filmmaking) can shape public belief, regardless of facts. The public’s quick descent into mass hysteria is a classic Pinky and the Brain theme.
Satire of Brain’s Own Arrogance: As always, Brain’s plan is intellectually clever but fails due to his miscalculation of human nature (and Pinky’s weird charm). He assumes ridicule will follow, not credulity.
The Role Reversal: The climax features a fantastic twist. To escape the mob, Brain is forced to don a ridiculous guinea pig costume—the very thing he invented as a tool of ridicule. He becomes the living embodiment of the fiction he created, a perfect poetic punishment.
Sharp Writing: The script is filled with witty, rapid-fire dialogue. Stone’s dramatic pronouncements contrast hilariously with Pinky’s nonsense and Brain’s exasperated scheming. The concept is a high-water mark for the show’s brand of intelligent, pop-culture-savvy humor.
Cultural Context
Airing in the post-JFK, post-Cold War 1990s, the episode tapped into a zeitgeist where conspiracy theories were moving from fringe to mainstream popular culture (thanks in part to films like Stone’s and shows like The X-Files). “The Pinky Protocol” cleverly argued that the desire to believe in a hidden order (even a ludicrous one) is often stronger than rational skepticism.
In summary, “The Pinky Protocol” is more than just a guest-star vehicle. It’s a brilliantly executed satire that uses Oliver Stone’s persona to explore themes of media manipulation, public paranoia, and the eternal failure of a megalomaniacal mouse’s over-engineered plans. It remains a fan favorite and one of the smartest episodes of the series.
