Homosexual Harry Potter

Harry Potter Homosexual

Lucifer is the morning star and father of Ceyx. He is described as riding a white horse and his face is characterized by a bright gladness.

The symbol of the CFR is a naked man riding a white horse with his hand outstretched making the masonic “Sign of Admiration”. The words in latin “UBIQUE” tranlsate as ubiquitous, meaning he is everywhere or omnipresent.

The story is about a boy who lives in a cupboard (i.e. “in the closet”). His Aunt and Uncle are ashamed of him because his parents were quite eccentric (i.e. “flaming”) and they are deeply concerned and afraid that he will turn out just like them. On his 11th birthday (i.e. roughly at the onset of puberty), the boy discovers that he is actually a “wizard”, different in both style and substance from normal people, or “muggles” (i.e. “breeders”). The boy is groomed into his new existence by a large, hairy bear of a man who shows Harry a hidden underground community of “wizards” living right under the noses of the general population (i.e. the heterosexually challenged subculture). Harry’s first trip to this subculture involves traveling through “Diagon Alley”, a play on the word diagonally (i.e. not straight).

One of Harry’s first rites of passage in his new life is to select a wand (i.e. penis). The wand/penis is the most important tool in a Wizard’s arsenal (or arse) and so this scene is treated with great reverence and mystery. While experiencing Diagon Alley for the first time, Harry also pauses with a group of other young boys to admire a much coveted broomstick (i.e. long hard shaft of wood).

Harry’s indoctrination begins in earnest when he is sent to a special school who purpose is to train him to use his wizard powers safely, while still being able to live in a world full of muggles. Young students at this school are forbidden from practicing “magic” (i.e. homosexuality) outside of the school (this is the so-called “restriction on the use of underage magic”). They are also forbidden from using magic in the presence of muggles, who might be frightened or angered by witnessing it, an obvious and heavy handed commentary on heterosexually challenged-straight societal tension.

The students at this school are segregated by gender, a clear attempt to encourage homosexual relationships. The most popular pastime at the school is a game called “Quidditch”, which involves riding hard shafts of wood, handling several types of balls, and trying to score points by successfully penetrating the hoop. This activity is enthusiastically endorsed by school officials for obvious reasons. Harry quickly excels at this new game and quickly becomes known for his above-average broom handling.

Harry spends a great deal of time with Hagrid, the man-bear who first initiated him into the wizarding world, but also forms a close friendship with Ron, a fellow student (and first real boyfriend). The two also tolerate the presence of Hermione, a female classmate who compensates for her lack of a penis by being a better than average student. Together, this troublemaking threesome get into mischief on numerous occasions, causing consternation and concern among the teachers.

Ultimately, the story is about Harry coming to terms with the tragic and premature death of his heterosexually challenged parents, who both died from AIDS (personified in the story by a cliche evil villain named Lord Voldemort). Although both his parents were struck down by the horrible disease, Harry himself was spared (though it did leave him scarred for life, i.e. infected with HIV but not full blown AIDS). Harry desperately searches for a new father figure to fill the void (either figuratively or literally) left by his father’s absence. Harry first clings on to Hagrid the man-bear, then later Dumbledore, a kind but haggard old pedophile, and finally clutches on to Sirius Black, an old friend of his father’s and Harry’s godfather. Sirius has the curious ability to transform into a wild dog (i.e. he is an aggressive top). Harry’s father had the ability to transform into a horse (a sly reference to penis size, lol horsecock). Harry himself has the ability to communicate with snakes (i.e. a deep understanding and appreciation of penises).

Harry is further traumatized when one of his classmates, Cedric, is also cruelly cut down by Lord AIDSmort. Harry attempts to warn the others that “Voldemort has returned” (i.e. AIDS is on the rise), but the majority of the wizarding community chooses not to believe this out of sheer denial. Only Dumbledore, the wise old one, and a few others believe Harry at first. Harry is at first ostracized but later vindicated for attempting to warn the community about the dangers of Lord AIDSmort. Sadly, Harry’s newly adopted father, Sirius, is cut down in the process by one of Lord AIDSmort’s henchmen (let’s say syphilis).

Harry’s career ambition after all this is to become an Auror – a dark wizard catcher (i.e. an AIDS awareness campaigner). This is the only way to ease the pain he feels from the loss of his dead friends and family while keeping other young wizards safe from the “dark side” of wizarding, i.e. AIDS.

Joe’s note: In the final Harry Potter film it is revealed he is “The Chosen One” IE he has been converted from an asexual young boy into a homosexual. Can Harry be converted back into a heterosexual?

– anonymous

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5 thoughts on “Homosexual Harry Potter

  1. Having read the Harry Potter books, I’d say your completely off target on this interpretation. Secondly, no one really hides being heterosexually challenged anymore.

  2. A hypothetical “Harry” individual CAN ” be converted back into a heterosexual” firstly, if he humbles himself to the Living God and receives Jesus Christ into his spirit by allowing the Holy Spirit to TRANSFORM him into a vessel of righteousness. That power of transformation (NOT of the perverted “illuminated” kind of “transformation” aka via the anal canal- that is ineffectual and will cause all kind of putrid dieseases to come upon a person…(example George Michael, hello?and is an impotent weak substitute for the REAL POWER of God…in other words, you must come to God on HIS terms…
    By humbling yourself and allowing Him to transform you by His Holy Spirit into a person whom He can be proud of, whom can be filled with goodness and joy and whom does not have to hold their head in shame whether secretly or outwardly,because they KNOW that their perverted lifestyle is sick, disgusting and will lead them eventually to death…however long that takes…..because their conscience given to them BY Almighty God, CONVICTS them of their sin.

    God says that lifestyle LEADS to death. God the Father does not want a person, created in His image, to die without hope. That’s WHY He gves you a choice to CHOOSE to live that way (and suffer the consequences) OR to reject that lifestyle and live in FREEDOM, CLEANESS and genuine peace of mind and heart.

    But you have to take the step and reach out to Jesus Christ by faith.. There is NO other way to REALLY be set free for GOOD. Even if you were butt fracked as a child against your will and you KNEW deep down inside that is was WRONG and a VIOLATION of your person, you CAN be set free.But you have to humble yourself and come to God on HIS terms and surrender your LUSTS and PERVERSIONS to Him. Cuz THAT is what God calls the butt fracking lifestyle. A PERVERSION. DISGUSTING AND EVIL. Yes He does. God KNOWS how it corrupts and HURTS individuals and causes them all sorts of PAIN AND SUFFERING. Father God would LIKE to spare you THAT grief!!!!! Think about it!
    THAT’S why He says to STOP being a butt fucker!! STOP doing it.You will eventually die a horrible death and you will be ETERNALLY and FOREVER separated from God and ALL goodness and Joy those you come into contact with will die and experience the same if they to do not repent of their evil lifestyle.. You WILL BE a WALKING DISEASE. Want to pass THAT onto to your children who didn’t have anything to do with YOUR sin and depravity????
    I hope you answer in the negative. Accept it or don’t. It’s YOUR choice. But the consequences will remain and the bad “fruit” of your actions will remain upon you. So YOU decide what you want to do. Just don’t make the STUPID choice for your OWN sake, and for the sake of your children.

  3. Emma Watson went to the Dragon School of acting. Rev 13. maybe there is a drink for that.


    Red Dragon

    Drink Type: Cocktail
    3/4 oz. Gin (more Gin drinks)
    3/4 oz. Vodka (more Vodka drinks)
    3/4 oz. Rum (more Rum drinks)
    3/4 oz. Triple Sec (more Triple Sec drinks)
    Bar Mix (more Bar Mix drinks)
    1 splash(es) Grenadine (more Grenadine drinks)
    Pour into a cocktail glass over ice. Fill almost to the top with bar mix. Splash grenadine.
    Kevin Jones


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