I Wished For Revenge: In the Ring

The room is dim, curtains half-drawn against a pale Ottawa morning. Justin Trudeau sits at the edge of a chair, rubbing his temples, a glass of water untouched beside him.

“Listen… people are twisting this into something ugly. That morning—after that ridiculous party at Jacob Rothschild’s mansion—yeah, I said some things. Who wouldn’t? It was late, there was too much champagne, too many egos in one room.”

He exhales, shaking his head.

“I stepped outside. Needed air. The sky was just starting to lighten… and there it was—the morning star. Bright. Quiet. For a second, everything felt… cinematic, you know?”

A faint, almost embarrassed smile.

“And I said—fine, I wished. I said I wanted revenge on Matthew Perry. But not that kind of revenge. Not darkness, not harm, not… anything like what people are implying.”

His tone sharpens.

“I meant in the ring. Gloves on. Bell ringing. A proper fight. Settle it like men—with rules, with respect. That’s what I meant.”

He leans forward, more intense now.

“People hear ‘revenge’ and they jump straight to tragedy. That’s not who I am. That’s not what I asked for.”

A pause. Then, quieter, almost to himself:

“And Rothschild… that whole place, it had a strange energy. Like everything you say echoes louder than it should.”

He mutters under his breath, a mix of frustration and irony:

“Rothschild… you devil.”

Then, switching briefly into French, with a tired smirk:

Quel cirque… What a circus this all became.”

He stands, straightening his jacket.

“For the record: if there’s ever a score to settle, it’ll be under lights, in a ring—not in the shadows.”

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The Last Country Funding XCOM

In a dimly lit briefing room beneath a desert facility, Jacob Rothschild stood before a holographic projection of Earth, glowing with threat markers.

“Every nation pulled out,” he said quietly. “One by one. Budgets, politics, denial. All of it.” He paused, then added, “All except Israel. They’re the last ones still funding what remains of the 1994 X-COM initiative.”

Joe Jukic leaned forward. “So it’s real? Not just a game, not just rumors?”

Rothschild gave a thin smile. “It was never just a game.”

Across the room, Tom Cruise crossed his arms, intense as ever. “And the alien threat?”

“Closer than anyone wants to admit,” Rothschild replied. “Which is why I made… unconventional investments.”

Joe raised an eyebrow. “You mean Scientology?”

Rothschild nodded. “Church of Scientology was never about replacing faith—it was about preparing minds. The Catholic Church dismissed extraterrestrial life for centuries. Humanity needed some framework to accept what’s coming.”

Tom Cruise stepped closer. “You’re saying belief systems are part of planetary defense?”

“Exactly,” Rothschild said. “If people panic, we lose before the first shot is fired.”

Joe looked back at the hologram, watching red signals blink across continents. “So you sank your entire fortune into this?”

Rothschild’s voice hardened. “Everything. Not for power. Not for legacy. For survival.” He gestured to the Earth. “This is our mother planet. And right now, it’s outnumbered.”

A long silence filled the room.

Tom finally broke it. “Then what’s the plan?”

Rothschild tapped the console. The hologram shifted—unknown craft appeared in orbit.

“We rebuild X-COM,” he said. “Quietly. Ruthlessly. And this time… we don’t wait for the invasion to begin.”

Joe exhaled slowly. “So it’s not a conspiracy anymore.”

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Selena Gomez: Paid Programming

Christus Rex talks to Jeffrey Epstein and Benny Blanco about Selena Gomez MK – Ultra programming. Christ asks Benny why he hates Al Pacino and if Selena Gomez is going to wash his feet with her tears for a cloned kidney?

Benny Blanco then love bombs Selena Gomez until she washes his feet with her tears. Blanco proclaims himself the Jewish messiah afterwards.

You gotta love PAID PROGRAMMING!!!

Scene: A ridiculously over-the-top candlelit studio filled with roses, stuffed animals, and heart-shaped balloons. Selena walks in, confused. Benny and Goofy are waiting like they rehearsed this moment all day.

Selena:
Why does this place look like Valentine’s Day exploded?

Benny Blanco:
Selena… Selena… Selena! The moon is jealous of you. The stars? They’re just your backup dancers. I wrote twelve songs about your smile before breakfast!

Goofy:
Gawrsh, Selena! Hyuck! I wrote ya a poem on a pizza box!

Selena:
You wrote… a poem?

Goofy (reading dramatically):
“Roses are red,
Hot dogs are yummy,
If love were spaghetti,
You’d fill up my tummy! Hyuck!”

Selena:
That… is the strangest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Benny Blanco:
No, no, wait! That’s just the beginning. I bought you 10,000 roses. Also a llama. The llama loves you too.

Selena:
There’s a llama outside?

Goofy:
Yep! Named him Selenny! Hyuck!

Selena:
You named a llama after me?

Benny Blanco (dramatically):
Selena, you don’t understand. Every melody in the universe bends toward you. The sun rises because it knows you might be awake.

Goofy:
And when you blink, angels get promoted! Hyuck!

Selena:
You two practiced this, didn’t you?

Benny Blanco:
Of course we did! Because appreciation must be rehearsed! Here, I made a slideshow of 400 reasons why you’re perfect.

Selena:
Four hundred?!

Goofy:
Number one: ya got nice hair!
Number two: ya got… also nice hair!
Number three: ya got… different nice hair!

Selena:
This is getting weird.

Benny Blanco (dropping to one knee for no clear reason):
Selena, you are the greatest artist, the brightest star, the most legendary—

Goofy (interrupting):
—and the best karaoke partner this side of Disneyland!

Selena:
I don’t even sing karaoke with people.

Goofy:
You will with US! Hyuck!

Benny Blanco:
Selena, look around. The candles, the roses, the llama, Goofy’s poem—this is just the beginning.

Selena:
The beginning of what?

Goofy and Benny (together):
APPRECIATION!

Selena (sighing):
I feel like I just walked into the strangest boy band in history.

Goofy:
Hyuck! Wait till ya see the dance routine!

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