How to Join the Illuminati

Illuminati Seal

The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria invite YOU to join
The World’s Oldest and Most Successful Conspiracy

Have you ever secretly wondered why The Great Pyramid has five sides (counting the bottom)?

Is there an esoteric allegory concealed in the apparently innocent legend of Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs?

What is the true secret sinister reality lying behind the ancient Aztec Legend of Quetzlcoatl?

Why do scholarly anthropologists turn pale with terror at the very mention of the forbidden name Yog-Sothoth?

Who is the man in Zurich that some swear is Lee Harvey Oswald?

What really did happen to Ambrose Bierce?

If your I.Q. is over 150, and you have $3,125.00 (plus handling), you might be eligible for a trial membership in the A.I.S.B. If you think you qualify, put the money in a cigar box and bury it in your backyard. One of our Underground Agents will contact you shortly.



May we warn you against imitations!
Ours is the original and genuine

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370 thoughts on “How to Join the Illuminati

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