Here we have a picture of our chosen messiah David De Rothschild. We God’s chosen have decided that David is better than Jesus. Was Jesus a billionaire? NO! Did Jesus float on plastic bottles to save Earth? NO! Did Jesus save the world from global warming on 777 like our chosen messiah David? NO!
David, Moshiach ben David to the goyim, is better than Jesus in every way. He will rule you stupid goyim cattle from the rebuilt third temple in Jerusalem and you will love it! His carbon tax to save earth will be loved by all. Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, Madonna and the rest of our chosen celebrities will worship him and say he is the reincarnation of Christ. What more proof do you need that the man is Christ other than his long hair and beard? I know I’m convinced.
Shalom!
Dr. F
I, Jesus, of the goyim say: THE FEDERAL RESERVE IS FINISHED
i present this prisoner to RON PAUL and the United States of America
oh no,
IT’S HAPPENING
I came to free u goyimz on the day of the end of the world…
from war, waste and moneylenders….
BELIEVE IN GEORGE W’S 911 CALL TO CHRIST
INT. COMMUNITY GYM – NIGHT
A big charity event is underway. Local banners hang over the basketball court. The crowd chants the team’s name like a hymn. NELLY FURTADO stands at the mic, glitter on her cheeks, sweat on her palms.
NELLY
(voice trembling but passionate)
I’d die for our team too… I’d die for our city. We all would, right?
The crowd roars. Nelly swallows hard. Her smile falters.
NELLY
(voice cracking)
But—if we don’t vote… if we don’t stand up… we die with P. Diddy.
A hush. Cameras flash. Someone in the back gasps.
MC
Nelly, are you okay?
NELLY
(near tears, gripping the mic)
No, you don’t get it. “Vote or Die” wasn’t just a slogan. It’s… real.
She drops the mic. The crowd is stunned. The scoreboard lights flicker ominously.
INT. DIMLY LIT BUNKER – NIGHT
A single light bulb swings overhead. G.I. JOE smokes a cigarette, staring at a cracked map of the Middle East. Across from him, NORM MACDONALD’S RESURRECTED CLONE glows faintly, his smirk carved like a scar.
JOE
Germany tried the short war. Blitzkrieg. All fire, all thunder… and then ashes.
NORM (CLONE)
Yeah. The problem with blitzing the world is… the world’s got a longer attention span than you do.
JOE
And then there’s Israel. Different approach. The long game. Two thousand years since Herod’s temple fell… it’s like they said, “Fine. If the empire burns us, we’ll outlast the empire itself.”
NORM (CLONE)
(grim chuckle)
You’re talking about a war that isn’t fought with tanks. It’s fought with memory. With scripture. With survival.
JOE
A two-millennia war. Not in trenches, but in the mind.
NORM (CLONE)
That’s darker than any battlefield, Joe. Because you can sign peace treaties with nations. You can’t sign one with history.
Silence. The light bulb creaks. Joe exhales smoke into the stale air.
JOE
So maybe Germany declared war on the world in six years. But Israel? Maybe it declared war on forgetting.
NORM (CLONE)
Yeah. And you don’t win that war. You just… stay awake through it.
They both stare at the map, as if the paper itself were smoldering with all the centuries of conflict no one could ever fold away.